Name 5 famous people you’ve met, and tell a story about at least one of them.
This question is for all my readers, and there’s a reason I think it’s a useful one for writers to think about. If you’re like me, playing is the best way to get the creative ideas flowing. But more importantly, think about what meeting a famous person does to you or your characters. You can often discover a lot about a person’s self-esteem, motives, buttons, and more. So play, and then take what you learn to your writing.
Okay, today’s special guest, Dr. Dot, is going to kick things off with her answers. Who is Dr. Dot? She is the gorgeous masseuse to the rock stars, and her nickname was given to her by the late, great Frank Zappa. What you may not know – even if you have already heard of her – is that she has written a sure-bet, celebrity-heavy book, BUTT-NAKED AND BACKSTAGE: DIARY OF THE WORLD’S GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL MASSEUSE. If you are an agent or publisher, you can contact me or Dot with any interest in her book or in syndicating her sex column.
Okay, Dot. Take it away. Tell us about 5 famous people you’ve met.
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Eminem:
I met Em in 1999, when he hadn’t broken big yet in Germany. I had NO idea who he was but my kid made me go, telling me he is the next big thing. The fact that I had NO clue who Eminem was made them all open up easier to me and we all got along great. He too has a daughter and he too had a fucked up mom, like I did. He too came from a family so poor they couldn’t pay attention.
Eminem is proof, that you can not and should not, judge a book by it’s cover. I not only massaged them all, but showed them around Berlin, to the bank, clubs, cinema, restaraunts, etc. He then invited me to do a bit of the 2000 Up in Smoke tour in the USA, which I did. He treated me like a sister, always polite and generous. I turned him onto Frank Zappa on a few of our many long hauls.
Not a hip hop fan, but I am since meeting Em, an Eminem fan. He is the bomb.
Paris Hilton:
Another strong case for “Don’t be a cunt and judge a book by it’s cover!” I was backstage at Live 8 in London, massaging every star back there, but spent more time with Paris then any one else. She is so beautiful in person, it’s breathtaking. Then she hits you with her generosity and charm and you’re all washed up. She is so sweet and friendly, not fake, like one would imagine after reading Us or In Touch magazine. Paris is real and I defend her shrewdly when and if someone is slagging her off in my presence. “Have you met her!??” I bark. “NO!” is always the answer. “Then shut your fucking pie hole!” I answer back. Since when is it our choice to which parents we are born? She is making the best of what she was given. I adore her!
Roger Waters (IS Pink FLoyd!):
If you ever stumble across my MySpace page, look for the monster blog I wrote about Roger. In short, he has been a hero of mine as long as I can remember. I have met him a few times, but last June I finally got to spend quality time ALONE with Roger. I only charged him for a one hour massage but all in all, I was in his room over 3 hours. I lingered as long as possible on his body, massaging the same parts sometimes over and over, while listening to him talk about his past and present. He is a rather serious man, no goofing around with Reg, no siree. I find him so attractive in every way, I have to say, it was EXTREMELY difficult for me to stop the naughty thoughts racing through my mind during the butt massage. He is a beautiful genius and if he only knew how well I knew his music, he may have passed on getting a massage from me, as I am indeed, a fan. You don’t want to play Pink Floyd trivia with me. I would marry him in a heart beat. Nuff said.
Bruce Willis:
Again, if you want the full scoop, check out my myspace blog about Bruce. It’s LONG, almost as long as his, um, nuff said. Bruce was on a film promotion tour for the crappy film he did which probably went directly to dvd called “Breakfast of Champions” or some shit like that with Nick Nolte. I massaged him once and he then hired me to massage him on a daily basis for a few weeks. Then he flew me to Italy to massage him there while filming another BOMB called the Story of Us with Michelle Pfieffer.
He is generous and funny, but if he isn’t the center of attention 24/7, he throws a fucking temper tantrum. You gotta love it. He is a natural born entertainer. He acts, sings, dj’s, could do stand up comedy as I have seen it in his hotel room night after night in front of his “friends”. Bruce decided to put our “friendship” on ice until my book finally comes out in the USA as he thinks I may talk about some of the naughty things, but as you can see from my blog, I don’t. My blog is the actual chapter about Bruce, so the fucking cry baby should just calm the fuck down. You don’t want to make me mad. I am the rock and roll Rushdie after all.
Joey Ramone:
My first true love. Oh, I was indeed 15 and he was 29 when we started dating, but he didn’t know that. He thought I was 19, like I told him. The managers all knew in the end and that’s why my name is left out of a few Ramones books, as if eveyrone knew Joey dated a 15 year old, they would *gasp* think of him as a perv. But it was me that was the perv. Still am. So there. Joey and I had a going on for about 3 years and then I decided to follow the Grateful Dead for a couple years and had no time for a relationship. However, Joey and I were friends ALL the way up to his passing. You can read the blog I wrote about the Ramones on MySpace. It’s really long. I will always love Joey, he was so sweet, so funny, so sarcastic, so romantic and above all so STRANGE. He made my dream come true when I was in the 11th grade. He came and played in Ellington, Connecticut (a fucking cow town in the middle of NOWHERE) for my high school. I am sure they lost money for that gig, but he did it for me. Everyone in my school doubted me and gave me shit until Joey and co. finally took to the stage and blew the roof off the Country Squire (which is now called the “Hall of Fame”). Oh what a night.
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Many thanks to Dr. Dot, who is a sweetheart. And fiesty. Just my type. Okay, now everyone’s turn to play, and then go check out her website and make her your MySpace friend.
