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Monthly Wrap: Our Most Pathetic Halloweens

by Susan Henderson on October 31, 2008

I just want want to say how much I loved hearing the stories of your most pathetic Halloweens: the man who answered your request for candy by giving you dead chickens, the yellow body paint that wouldn’t come off, the parents who had you passing out evangelical pamphlets, the small children you terrified in your dead can-can girl outfit, …!

Here’s my story of deciding to go to a Halloween party on my due date. Mr. Henderson wanted me to go as a watermelon farmer. He was going to buy me a pair of biggie-sized overalls, cut out the front, and paint my belly. Nice!

Then we decided painting my stomach might make things difficult for the midwife if I happened to go into labor that night, so we kept thinking.

At the last minute, we thought a better (and warmer) option would be for us to go to the party as Don Juan and some chick he knocked up. The problem with doing things at the last minute is getting the costume right. Mr. H pulled something from the costume shop at CMU, where he was teaching at the time. The kinds of dresses that are stored there are generally designed for beautiful, skinny actresses, and let’s just say the costume he chose didn’t fit. There was the problem about how high the skirt hung in front. There was the problem about where, exactly, to tie the sash.

But the real problem was that this dress was made for some cute little actress to mush her cute little bosom upwards for a sexy barmaid look. And at 9 months pregnant, my bosom wouldn’t fit inside that no-stretch fabric, so I had to kind of stuff everything down, into other, roomier areas of the dress. And maybe your experience is different from mine, but I don’t know a lot of woman who want to angle everything downwards before they step out for the evening. Let’s just say the result was really seriously not barmaid-sexy.

Of course, no one in their right mind would post a photo of that sort on their blog.

The only thing that got me through the embarrassment and the discomfort of being at the party was the idea that I might actually go into labor and be able to take a full breath again. Alas, it would be another week.

But one year later, guess who spent his first Halloween dressed as a tree frog?

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Real quick. Something I’m thinking of attending (Thur, Nov. 20): Transformers: The Story of How A Literary Property Becomes A Film

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Thanks to all of you who played here this week, and to my guest, Dan Conaway, my really and truly amazing agent, who – did I fail to mention? – also plays guitar and has a photo of Keith Richards on his wall.  Thanks, as well, to everyone who linked to LitPark this week: Ellen Meister’s Side Dish, M.J. Rose’s Buzz, Balls & Hype, Red Room, and Backspace. I appreciate those links!

Remember: I’m running Part 2 of my interview with Dan next week, so stop by for a new question of the month and a very revealing talk that you absolutely don’t want to miss!

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Nathalie October 31, 2008 at 4:44 am

That is the cutest frog EVER! (and your outfit doesn’t look so bad)

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marilynpeake October 31, 2008 at 9:25 am

I had the same reaction as Nathalie. Your costume looks great…although I can imagine how physically uncomfortable you must have been at that point. And the tree frog is adorable! LOL about the watermelon idea. 🙂

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SusanHenderson October 31, 2008 at 12:57 pm

It doesn’t look so bad until you think that the lacy white bit near my collar bone is where the cute cleavage ought to be… but I agree about the tree frog!

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SusanHenderson October 31, 2008 at 12:57 pm

I kinda wish we’d gone for the watermelon farmer.

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Kimberly October 31, 2008 at 12:58 pm

Leave it to Mr H to think up watermelon farmer. (rolls eyes…)

So Bach-boy was once Frog-boy, eh? Love it.

What are the costumes this year?

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SusanHenderson October 31, 2008 at 1:04 pm

They’re both going as Heath Ledger Jokers, but Bach-Boy will be the Joker in the nurse costume.

I will schedule an appointment at the dentist before I’ll wear a costume.

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Nathalie October 31, 2008 at 2:43 pm

You would have been cold.

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Aurelio October 31, 2008 at 3:50 pm

It really must have been damned uncomfortable wearing that big, white bar across your bust. 😉

I would have been tempted to put you in a “Visible Woman” painted leotard, with a li’l “Visible” Bach-Boy painted inside, but I loved the watermelon idea. Mr. H is a smart cookie.

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SusanHenderson October 31, 2008 at 11:06 pm

When you talk someone into wearing the Visible Woman costume, be sure to link it here.

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